COACHING HIGH SCHOOL ATHLETICS. THE PARENTS ROLE.

COACHING KIDS IS TOUGH ENOUGH WITHOUT PARENTS TRYING TO TAKE AN ACTIVE ROLE

Bob Meadows, an associate professor at Cal Lutheran in sociology and criminal justice, has researched the subject and he’s had a 1st hand look as a youth baseball coach.

“Parents today spend 1000′s of dollars on travel teams, private coaches. They’re making quite a financial commitment,” said Meadows. “They want immediate results and if they don’t get it, they’re going to assign blame. They don’t see that maybe their child isn’t good enough. They’re going to deny reality.”

Meadows is concerned parental interference can escalate, often to violence. He’s seen youth sports at its darkest, when parents push and shove coaches and other parents before, during and after games.

“I’ve seen parents use curse words in front of their children,” he said. “I’ve seen physical altercations as the tension escalates.”

If parents are increasingly involved in youth sport, what’s changed? Plenty, say coaches and administrators.

Meadows said many parents are not merely content to support their kids, they need to live the whole experience. Or, maybe, relive it all.

“You have a situation where the parents are reliving their own experiences vicariously through their child,” he said. “Maybe there’s a loss of self-esteem, some insecurities at work. All those things factor into the sports being more than a game.”

Scott notes parents frequently coach their own kids at the youth level, and consider themselves the authority.

“It happens all the time in baseball, because a parent will form a team and make his kid into an all-star,” he said. “They’ll come at you with, ‘My son was an all-star on his 6th grade team and he can’t start for you?’ The problem is that some kids don’t get any bigger, or don’t get any better or they don’t work hard on their game. There’s a reason he isn’t starting.”

The push for athletic scholarships is a powerful lure, too.

Parents, appreciating the cost of the college education, see athletics as the answer to defray expenses. Procuring an athletic scholarship is akin to being elected to public office. The odds are long.

“It’s so tough to get an athletic scholarship,” said Sanders. “What parents don’t realize is that most of it is out of the hands of coaches anyway. Colleges are looking for a certain physical standard, and either the player has it or he doesn’t.

This article is in seven parts. This is part four.

Read more:

Part one: Parental pressure and dissent — by what he says was “a small minority” of team parents — was sufficient to force him out and turn his dream job into an angst-filled nightmare.

Part two: As parents take a more active role in their child’s sport, coaches, naturally, are feeling the pressure.

Part three: I found myself walking away from all the crybaby parents in the stands, just to get away from all the negative talk.

Part five: Of all the disagreements between parents and coaches, most are solved behind closed doors. More often, the athletic director or principal serves as the mediator.

Part six: You want your best kids to play as many innings as possible. It can’t be any fairer than that.

Part seven: When parents stay in the stands and cheer, that’s the best thing for the team.